What really drives us to take action?
Intrinsic Motivation
Intrinsic motivation arises from within and is driven by curiosity, a desire for growth and the innate intention to contribute to the world in a meaningful way.
Unlike external motivators, which rely on rewards or validation, intrinsic motivation stems from an authentic connection to one’s purpose.
However, accessing this abundant well of motivation requires self-exploration and a willingness to confront the shadow self (the unconscious fears, doubts, and limiting beliefs that hold us back). By peeling away the layers of societal conditioning and outdated personal narratives, you can free yourself from the restrictions that have inhibited your true potential.
Cultivating Intrinsic Motivation
- Reconnect with Curiosity – Ask yourself: What excites me? What would I pursue if there were no external pressures? Follow those sparks of interest without immediate concern for productivity or success.
- Engage in Deep Work – Set aside time for activities that challenge and stretch you, whether creative, intellectual, or physical. The state of flow—when you’re deeply immersed in something meaningful—is a strong indicator of intrinsic motivation.
- Align with Your Values – Clarify what truly matters to you. When your actions align with your values, motivation comes naturally because the work itself becomes fulfilling.
- Detach from External Validation – Shift your focus from seeking approval (money, status, recognition) to how an activity makes you feel internally. The most satisfying work is often intrinsically rewarding before any external benefits arrive.
- Practice Self-Compassion – Motivation flourishes in an environment of self-acceptance. Instead of judging yourself for not being “productive enough,” nurture a mindset that celebrates progress and learning.
Integrating the Shadow Self
Intrinsic motivation is often blocked by unconscious fears, conditioning, and past wounds. Integrating the shadow self is about acknowledging and accepting these hidden aspects, rather than suppressing them. Here’s how:
If you’re only focused on the OUTCOME or goal, (i.e. losing the weight, attaining the job, getting the abs etc.) then you will be missing the beauty of transformation itself and the magical act of ‘creation at its finest and undermining your unique ability to alchemise lack into abundance, fear into joy and effort into reward.
Too much external pressure can undermine your internal drive. If the focus shifts too much toward the external reward, it can diminish the joy you originally felt.
That’s why finding a balance between the two is key.
Through this process of inner discovery and integration, we create space for genuine passion, creativity and purpose to emerge, allowing us to engage with life in a way that is both fulfilling and meaningful.
- Identify Limiting Beliefs – Reflect on internal narratives like “I’m not good enough,” “I must succeed to be worthy,” or “I can’t pursue this because it’s impractical.” Where did these beliefs come from? Are they really true?
- Sit with Discomfort – Instead of avoiding difficult emotions (fear, insecurity, self-doubt), allow yourself to feel and process them. Journaling or mindfulness can help you uncover patterns and triggers.
- Reframe Your Story – Rather than seeing past struggles or failures as evidence of inadequacy, reframe them as essential lessons that have shaped your resilience and depth.
- Embrace All Parts of Yourself – The shadow isn’t just negative; it holds unrealized potential. Traits you suppress (creativity, assertiveness, playfulness) might be key to unlocking deeper motivation. Accepting these parts brings wholeness.
- Take Aligned Action – Once you recognize and integrate your shadow, use this awareness to act from a place of truth rather than fear. This naturally fuels intrinsic motivation because you’re no longer held back by self-imposed barriers.
The Habit Loop is a concept from behavioural psychology, popularised by Charles Duhigg in his iconic book: The Power of Habit.
It explains how habits are formed and reinforced through a three-step cycle: Cue, Routine and Reward.
Cue (Trigger)
- The cue is the trigger that signals your brain to start a habit.
- It can be an external or internal stimulus, such as a time of day, an emotional state, a specific location, or a preceding action.
- Example: Feeling stressed (cue) might lead to snacking or scrolling on your phone.
Routine (Behaviour/Action)
- The routine is the habit itself—the action or behavior you perform in response to the cue.
- It can be physical, mental, or emotional and often happens automatically over time.
- Example: After feeling stressed, you grab a snack or check social media.
Reward (Outcome/Reinforcement)
- The reward is the benefit you gain from the habit, reinforcing its continuation.
- This could be pleasure, relief, satisfaction, or a sense of accomplishment.
- Example: Eating a snack gives you a temporary sense of comfort, reinforcing the habit of stress-eating.
The habit loop is a powerful tool, but it must be aligned with your core desires and motivations. When your actions are driven by authentic passion and purpose, whether personal or prosocial – your motivation becomes self-sustaining. You no longer feel stuck because your actions are in harmony with your true self!
The antithesis of a growth mindset is that you do something for the reward versus doing for the simple pleasure of doing it.
Prosocial Motivation
Prosocial motivation is derived from the altruistic motive to help others.
This form of motivation can be seen as a subset of extrinsic-intrinsic motivation. For example, you might be motivated to join a charity organisation because:
- it makes you feel good (an intrinsic motivator);
- other people are impressed by your good deeds (an extrinsic motivator);
- your work helps improve the lives of others (a prosocial motivator).
Pro-social motivators aren’t always easy to identify or create, but when people find them, It can be what of the most rewarding and meaningful type of motivations.
REMEMBER: “ANTICIPATION IS MORE REWARDING THAN ATTAINMENT.”
Breaking free
Feeling stuck is often a sign that something within you is calling for attention – whether it’s your need for deeper purpose, a shift in your mindset, or the desire to break free from old habits and beliefs. The key to overcoming this feeling lies in shifting your focus from external rewards and validation to internal fulfilment.
By reconnecting with your intrinsic motivation, whether through curiosity, alignment with your values, or embracing discomfort – you open the door to transformative growth. Motivation is not something you wait for; it’s something you actively cultivate.
Through the process of integrating your shadow self, identifying limiting beliefs, and reframing your personal narrative, you can break free from the chains that have held you back. Remember: it’s not just about reaching a goal; it’s about embracing the process itself, appreciating the growth and the lessons that come with it.
The truth is: you have everything within you to overcome the feeling of being stuck. It starts with self-awareness, the courage to face your fears and the willingness to take small, consistent steps toward what truly matters.
By integrating these practices and adopting a mindset of growth, you can break free from the cycle of stagnation and step into a life of fulfilment, creativity and real progress.
So, the next time you feel stuck, remember that it’s not a permanent state – it’s an invitation to realign, explore and tap into your limitless potential!
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